


What happened in Syria?

by son_of_a_bitch_spn_family



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Behind the Scenes, Coda, Dean Can't Help It, Dean Winchester Can't Say "I Love You", Episode: s13e16 Scoobynatural, Fix-It of Sorts, Jealous Castiel, Jealous Dean Winchester, M/M, Married Characters, Self-Indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-31
Updated: 2018-03-31
Packaged: 2019-04-16 07:45:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14160048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/son_of_a_bitch_spn_family/pseuds/son_of_a_bitch_spn_family
Summary: “So, Cas,” Dean calls from the kitchen, his voice becoming muffled as the fridge door opens. “How was Syria?”“It was tiring. I had to fight many djinn to obtain fruit from the tree of life and bargain with the rest,” Cas admits as beer bottles clink together, sighing before continuing. “I believe I am technically married to their queen now.”A beat after the words leave Cas’ mouth, there is a crash and a loud curse. Sam and Cas’ heads snaps up in surprise at the sound of what was undoubtedly Dean dropping the beers. There's a crunch of glass and Cas stared at Sam with wide, confused eyes.“Oh no,” Sam grumbles, snapping his laptop shut and standing. “Don't even look at me; that's all you, buddy. Congratulations, by the way. Now, go clean up the mess.”





	What happened in Syria?

**Author's Note:**

> Spn 13x16 coda because I can. Very self-indulgent, very soft, and very important. How would've Dean taken the news that Cas was married... Again?

The theme music for Scooby Doo plays on a loop on Dean's computer and Sam looks ready to snap it in half. Dean bobs his head happily with the music, a simple joy settling on his shoulders. If not for that, Cas would be more inclined to help Sam snap the computer in half. 

 

Besides the song replaying, it's quiet in the bunker. Cas sits across from Sam and next to Dean, doing his own research. Sam occasionally glances up to share a look with Cas that suggests camaraderie, as if they are sharing the same hell. As the song continues, Cas finds himself returning the look. 

 

Just as it seems that Sam really is going to lose his faint grip on sanity and snap the computer in half, Dean sighs happily and shuts his laptop with a dopey grin, effectively silencing the room. He reaches over a claps Cas on the shoulder. 

 

“Been a hell of a day, yeah?” Dean chuckles, standing up from his seat to stretch. 

 

“You could say that,” Cas allows. 

 

“It definitely goes on the list of top ten strangest cases we've ever had,” Sam agrees, rolling his eyes as he continues to click away, never even glancing from the screen. 

 

“Shut up,” Dean huffed. “You  _ loved  _ it. Even Cas enjoyed himself. This goes on the list of the top ten  _ best  _ cases we've ever had.” 

 

“It was by far the most enjoyable. Not nearly as stressful dealing with the lives of cartoons when compared to something so daunting such as children,” Cas commented somberly. 

 

Dean and Sam both stare at him blankly. 

 

“Well,” Dean says slowly, rolling his eyes so hard that his head tips. “On that note, I'm grabbing a beer. Sam? Cas?” 

 

“No,” Cas murmurs just as Sam says,

 

“Sure.” 

 

Cas frowns as he reads over the text on the screen of his laptop, confusion pouring through him. Admittedly, he knew it would be a challenge to achieve all ingredients to make a portal to get Jack and Mary but it still manages to frustrate him. He thinks Jack would have enjoyed the trip in the cartoon. 

 

“So, Cas,” Dean calls from the kitchen, his voice becoming muffled as the fridge door opens. “How was Syria?” 

 

“It was tiring. I had to fight many djinn to obtain fruit from the tree of life and bargain with the rest,” Cas admits as beer bottles clink together, sighing before continuing. “I believe I am technically married to their queen now.” 

 

A beat after the words leave Cas’ mouth, there is a crash and a loud curse. Sam and Cas’ heads snaps up in surprise at the sound of what was undoubtedly Dean dropping the beers. There's a crunch of glass and Cas stared at Sam with wide, confused eyes. 

 

“Oh no,” Sam grumbles, snapping his laptop shut and standing. “Don't even look at me; that's all you, buddy. Congratulations, by the way. Now, go clean up the mess.” 

 

Cas watches as Sam makes his quick retreat and he's tempted to point out that he didn't  _ make  _ the mess but he's well aware that would only result in Sam raising his eyebrows as response. Swallowing thickly, Cas rises from his seat and slowly approaches the kitchen. He's not entirely sure why he's dreading the pointed silence that followed the crash of beer hitting the ground but he feels chastised, which he thinks is unfair. He didn't  _ do  _ anything. 

 

“Dean?” Cas inquires as he steps in the kitchen doorway, taking in Dean standing in a mess of beer and glass while frowning. “Are you alright?”

 

“Married?” Dean blurts. “You got married.  _ Again? _ Why would you- That's stupid.” 

 

“The first time, I wasn't myself, Dean,” Cas points out, slightly offended. “And, it's not stupid. I did it for the right reasons.” 

 

“Yeah, the  _ first _ time, I let it go,” Dean spits, looking torn between betrayal and confusion at why he felt betrayed. 

 

“I didn't ask you to,” Cas retorts sharply. 

 

Dean inhales slowly, his nostrils flaring as he narrowed his eyes at Cas. He purses his lips and crosses his arms, looking ready to stand his ground for however long there was a ground to stand on. Cas, unfortunately, didn't see what the problem was. Dean was being ridiculous,  _ again.  _ Dean's jaw ticked as if he could hear Cas’ train of thought as it whipped by. 

 

“So, you just went off to Syria and got married? Did you get a honeymoon, too?” Dean mockes sarcastically, arching an eyebrow. 

 

“Dean,” Cas growls out, reaching up to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I was getting fruit from the tree of life. I was fighting for my life. I was working to get yet another ingredient so we will be closer to saving Jack and Mary. So, yes, I was forced to make some quick decisions but they have no long lasting effects.” 

 

“Marriage is forever in some cultures, Cas, if you didn't know,” Dean blurts out tersely. 

 

“Dammit, Dean, why are you being ridiculous? This doesn't even matter. What matters is that I got the fruit, isn't it? I did what had to be done.”

 

“Yeah, you've been doing a lot of that lately, Cas. I mean, what with Donatello-” 

 

“No, do  _ not  _ bring that up. I did what was necessary for my family, no different from you.  _ That _ is not even close to this.” 

 

“Why not? Frying someone's brain one week, marrying strangers the next. What happens next, Cas?” Dean snapped, running his tongue under his upper lip as he shifted in the glass. 

 

“Why does this even matter? Nothing will come of this, Dean. You would've never known had I not said something. So, why are you upset? Why does this bother you?” Cas asks, narrowing his eyes and tilting his head. 

 

“I'm not  _ bothered, _ ” Dean grits out. “I just don't like hearing that you've ran off and got married, yet again. It's kind of getting old, man.” 

 

“Getting old?” Cas breathes out, shock coursing through him as his ire begins to rise rapidly. “You know what's getting old, Dean? You talk about me running off to get married, which only happened one other time under circumstances that had nothing to do with me, but what about you? How about the fact that I have to literally watch you flirt with women on a regular basis for many different reasons ranging from necessity to the case or just fun. Even in Scooby-Doo, you were after Daphne!” 

 

“Daphne was with Fred!” Dean burst out, throwing his hands out in defense. “Besides, it wasn't even like that. She's a freaking cartoon, man, and unobtainable. I can't actually have her in any way fashion or form, so why not mess around? That's my childhood, Cas, what'd you expect? It's not like I married her!” 

 

“That's not my point, Dean, and you know it. How is it wrong when I end up involved with a woman but when you do, it's perfectly fine? You treat me coldly and I don't understand why,” Cas tells Dean seriously, lips tipping down at the corners as his mind began working. 

 

“Because, my shit is meaningless!” Dean explodes. “My involvement with women is beneficial to both parties involved and never a stretch past one night. I certainly don't fucking elope with anyone!” 

 

“There was no eloping, Dean. We had a ceremony by a fire,” Cas informs him. 

 

“Fuck,” Dean says weakly, swallowing and reaching up to drag a hand down his face wearily. “That's great, just fan-fucking-tastic.”

 

“Is this a question of my morals, Dean? Are you concerned that I'm not thinking properly about the right thing to do?” Cas murmurs, averting his eyes as the very thought pains him. 

 

“What?” Dean blurts. “No, no, Cas, I trust you.” 

 

“So, why?” Cas whispers, looking up to meet his eyes, a plea in them. “Why does it matter, Dean? Please, Dean, tell me why.” 

 

And, Cas knows that Dean's aware of what Cas is asking him. They've been blundering around the topic since the moment Cas informed them of his new marital status. They used to tiptoe, used to scrape right on the edge of the line very carefully, but as of late, they spend a lot of time trampling everywhere and barreling right past the line as if it wasn't there. And still, they've yet to acknowledge it. Cas isn't sure he wants to. 

 

“Y'know, not even twenty minutes ago, I was so happy. We were in freaking Scooby-Doo, dude. Isn't that the fucking coolest thing?” Dean says with a broken chuckle, a weak attempt at doing his best to keep their shit as it was. 

 

“Yes, Dean,” Cas whispers, closing his eyes briefly and feeling the knot in his chest tighten further, wondering how he even was able to breathe at this point. “Yes, it was.” 

 

“And _ now,  _ I feel shitty,” Dean tells Cas honestly, shrugging slightly. “All cause of you, Cas. All cause you went off and got married. I mean, you're right. I shouldn't be feeling shitty about it. I bet Sam doesn't. And, why does it matter? Fuck, man, I dunno, but it really does.” 

 

“You're jealous,” Cas points out. 

 

Immediately, Cas wishes he hadn't said that. Dean  _ is  _ jealous, he knows that, but Dean doesn't want to admit that. He merely stated it because it's true. And, it is. Dean is jealous and he often gets jealous. Sometimes, Cas enjoys that. Other times, like now, he wishes he had never noticed that particular phenomenon. 

 

“Yeah,” Dean croaks out, nods his head once in agreement and reaches back to scratch at the back of his head as he clears his throat. 

 

It's one word, only one, but it's enough to send Cas reeling. He stares at Dean, waits for him to try and cover it up, waits for him to backtrack and take it back, even waits for him to shut down the conversation and  _ never  _ mention it again. But, Dean doesn't. He just stands there and stares back, waiting for Cas to react. 

 

“Me too,” Cas replies, the words slipping out before he really thinks about it. 

 

“Daphne?” Dean asks, wrinkling his eyebrows together and pursing his lips. 

 

“Everyone,” Cas clarifies and looks down, clearing his throat. 

 

“Oh,” Dean mumbles. 

 

“Yeah,” Cas agrees. “Oh.” 

 

There's silence for a while, kind of heavy and kind of awkward, and Cas is confused by it. He's known Dean for years, knows his soul in every setting, knows how his mind works. He should be able to talk to him and clear the air or at least be able to guide the conversation. But, words won't form and he can't pry his mouth open to even begin to resolve the issue that they've managed to upheave. 

 

Finally, Dean speaks. 

 

“I don't think about it,” Dean says quietly. “With the others and the flirting. It's not-  _ I'm  _ not serious. That's just kinda apart of me, I guess. It's like a personality trait. It doesn't just go away, no matter who I- no matter what.” 

 

“I know,” Cas says and he really does. “It's one of the best things about you, Dean.” 

 

“Not if it upsets you,” Dean replies softly, still refusing to lift his eyes from the glass on the ground, his arms crossed again. 

 

“It'd be different if- It'd be different,” Cas tells him and he's unable to go in detail as he originally wished to, unable to tell Dean that it'd be different if he was with Cas. 

 

“Okay,” Dean says, choosing to believe him. 

 

Cas doesn't dare to hope that it's an agreement, or even a proposal. Cas squints at Dean, trying to understand what all of this means. This is new, a different version of Dean that Cas has never been able to see before. He hasn't figured out what Dean is trying to say yet. 

 

“I'm sorry I got married,” Cas apologizes. 

 

“You could've called,” Dean muttered petulantly, scuffing his boot against the glass. 

 

“I did.” 

 

“Not about that.” 

 

“I didn't think you'd feel so strongly about it. Truthfully, it was meaningless. So, even if I was aware that you would feel strongly about it, I wouldn't have put much stock into it.” 

 

“It's  _ marriage,  _ Cas.” 

 

“So, you've said,” Cas sighs, pushing a hand through his hair in frustration. 

 

“I wouldn't ask you to- to wait, Cas. I'd never do that to you,” Dean tells him, stepping out of the glass and closer to him with big, sad eyes, his earlier happiness gone. “You deserve  _ more,  _ but I dunno how to stop. I can't go any faster and I can't make it go away. You're there, man, and I just  _ can't.  _ I shouldn't. And, I'm fucking sorry.” 

 

“I haven't exactly met you halfway, Dean,” Cas sighs, dipping his head in shame. “This is safe. This is contentment. I am be fine with this, Dean. This is family and  _ acceptance _ and more than I've ever hoped for. I don't dare to demand even more. I don't know if I even deserve  _ this. _ ” 

 

“Cas,” Dean breathes, a broken sound cracking in his throat and Cas wonders what brought it all on, what made Dean understand. 

 

“What happened? Why now?” Cas asks. 

 

“You died, Cas. You died and you were gone and you  _ weren't  _ coming back. It was real, so real that even denial wasn't an option, and I was scared. Fuck, Cas, I was so scared. I didn't know what to do, didn't know how to cope. I was so angry, at Jack, at Sam, at God, at you, and most of all, out of everyone, I was pissed at myself. Then, you were back, just like that, and I  _ still  _ can't get my shit together. You're a fucking gift, man, and I'm an idiot. I know that, Cas.” 

 

“I've died before, Dean.” 

 

“Never like  _ that.  _ And, those times were no easier. I just never felt like you were really gone. You always came back, even when you shouldn't have, you did. But, this time? It felt- Cas, it felt like loss, like a wound that wouldn't heal. I just knew I'd fucked up and lost you for real this time. And, I'd be right if not for Jack.” 

 

“I thought that maybe you were fine. Right before I called, right before I dialed those numbers, I thought about how you were doing. I thought,  _ hoped,  _ that you were okay.” 

 

“I wasn't,” Dean admitted softly, biting his lip. 

 

“I'm sorry,” Cas murmured. 

 

“Me too. Because, the thing is, I should've been different,” Dean says, determination lacing his voice as he abruptly looked up. “I should've gotten my shit together, should've just took the opportunity like I wished I had when you were gone. But, you're here and nothing has changed and we're still where we were.” 

 

“Do you honestly believe that?” Cas whispered, stepping forward until he could reach out and touch Dean's cheek, staring up at him. 

 

Dean swallowed and Cas watched his throat bob as he stiffened. For a second, Cas thought Dean would jerk away but instead, his eyes slipped closed and he leaned into the touch. Cas let his thumb brush across Dean's cheekbone, adoration flooding through him.

 

“I don't want to lose you again and I don't want you to keep going on, not knowing that I- that I- Fuck, Cas, I'm a piece of shit. I'm so sorry, Cas, I can't,” Dean gasped out, his voice low and quivering as he attempted to jerk away. 

 

Cas wasn't having it. He brought his other hand up to gently cradle Dean's face, curling in closer until he could feel the heat from Dean's body. Dean made a sound, almost like a whine, and swayed closer. Cas felt Dean's fingers curl into the lapels of his trenchcoat and stood firm, an easy reassurance. 

 

“It's okay, Dean,” Cas tells him. “I know. Trust me, I know. Don't worry about it. Me too.” 

 

“I'm not a bitch,” Dean mumbles, his forehead dipping down to rest against Cas’ forehead with a small tap. “But, I'm so fucking weak. Cas, I don't know why. I'm so gone on you, man, it's pathetic. But, I just can't.” 

 

“Just knowing means more to me than you'll ever know. I'll never ask anything of you, Dean. I am thankful for this,” Cas reassures him. 

 

“You deserve more,” Dean says. 

 

“I don't want that, I want you. I want all of it, whether it is just this, or just what we had before, or us trying. I don't care what you think I should have, Dean, I choose  _ you.  _ I have and always will chose you,” Cas replies. 

 

“Fuck,” Dean whimpers, curling in even closer, allowing them to share the same breath. “I can't promise you anything. I'm so sorry.” 

 

“Shhh, it's okay,” Cas comforts him, dragging his knuckles down Dean's jaw. “I love you, anyway. I will always love you, Dean.” 

 

Something breaks from Dean and they're suddenly kissing. Dean's tugging Cas closer and reaching up to grasp the nape of his neck as his lips slid over his. And, it's warm and soft and wet and Cas absolutely loves it. Dean groans into his mouth, tipping his head for a better angle, and crowds in even closer. Cas’ eyes are closed and all he can think and feel is  _ Dean, Dean, Dean.  _ It's perfect and slow and Cas never wants it to end. Unfortunately, Dean backs off slightly and stares at him. 

 

“You're a Winchester, Cas,” Dean tells him, his voice gruff and serious. “I know you're married and all of that but you're family. You're a Winchester, no matter what, okay? I don't know how to get my shit straight but you are apart of this family. Please, just- just don't leave.” 

 

“I'm not going anywhere,” Cas promises. 

 

“Good, because I can't ask you to wait but I'm too selfish not to ask you to stay. I'll figure it out eventually,” Dean promises, eyes wide and sincere and shining with something Cas recognizes, something Dean doesn't know how to voice or put a name to. 

 

Cas smiles and closes his eyes, knocking his forehead into Dean's. 

 

“I'll be here when you do.” 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Don't hesitate to drop a kudos or a comment! Thank you! 
> 
> -SOBS


End file.
